Two gay men on the bed in the face to face missionary position.

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Reading time: 6 minutes | Last Updated: June 6, 2025

Quick Facts

  • What It Is: Classic missionary gets an anal upgrade – all the eye contact, twice the intensity
  • Also Known As: Face-to-face anal position, intimate anal missionary, frontal anal position, missionary-style anal, anal face-to-face
  • Difficulty: Surprisingly beginner-friendly (eye contact makes everything easier)
  • Best For: When you want to watch each other come undone during anal play while maintaining deep emotional connection
  • Why It’s Amazing: Combines emotional intimacy with the taboo thrill of anal – creates unforgettable experiences that regular positions can’t match
  • Common Challenge: Getting that perfect angle for comfortable access (we’ll show you exactly how)
  • Perfect Pairing: Premium silicone-based anal lubricant, graduated anal training plugs for preparation, vibrating couples’ rings for added stimulation, and firm positioning wedges or pillows for optimal angle support

Why Most Anal Feels Like Something’s Missing

Picture this: you’re having incredible anal sex, but you’re staring at the headboard instead of into your partner’s eyes. The physical sensation is amazing, but something feels… disconnected. You’re sharing one of the most intimate acts possible, yet you might as well be strangers.

That’s exactly what the anal missionary position fixes.

When I first discovered this face to face anal position, I was skeptical. How could something that seemed so “basic” compete with the raw intensity of doggy style or the control of cowgirl? But the moment I locked eyes with my partner while they slowly filled me from this angle, everything clicked. This wasn’t just anal sex – this was intimate connection amplified by forbidden pleasure.

The vulnerability of maintaining eye contact while your partner enters your most private space creates an emotional intensity that changes everything. You’re not just having anal sex; you’re sharing something raw and beautiful that most couples never experience.

Recent research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior shows that daily experiences of intimacy are closely linked to positive sexual outcomes, including increased sexual desire, satisfaction, and reduced sexual distress – effects that can last up to 12 months. This research confirms what many couples discover: emotional connection doesn’t just enhance physical pleasure; it creates lasting improvements in sexual satisfaction.

What Makes This Position So Damn Special

This comfortable anal position missionary style isn’t just another way to get off – it’s a complete shift that hits your mind as hard as your body.

The Eye Contact That Changes Everything

There’s something primal about watching your partner’s pupils dilate as you slowly slide inside them. You can see the exact moment when any hesitation melts into pure desire. Their breathing changes, their lips part slightly, and you’re both completely present in that vulnerable, electric moment.

For the receiving partner, watching your lover’s face as they enter you creates this incredible feedback loop. You see how much they want you, how good you feel to them, and that visual confirmation makes your own pleasure skyrocket.

Your Hands Are Free to Explore

Unlike positions where you’re braced for balance or leverage, anal missionary frees both partners to touch, caress, and drive each other wild. The receiving partner can run their fingers through their partner’s hair, guide their movements, or touch themselves while maintaining that deep connection.

The penetrating partner gets to explore their lover’s body – trailing fingers along their curves, playing with their nipples, or reaching between bodies to add even more pleasure to the mix.

Perfect Control for Both Partners

This missionary position for anal gives everyone exactly what they need. The receiving partner controls depth by adjusting their hip angle or wrapping their legs around their partner to pull them closer or create distance. You’re never at the mercy of someone else’s rhythm.

Meanwhile, the penetrating partner gets to watch every reaction, adjusting their technique based on real-time feedback instead of guessing what feels good. It’s like having a direct line to your partner’s pleasure centers.

Built for First-Timers and Experts Alike

If anal makes you nervous, this intimate anal position creates the perfect environment for exploration. The face-to-face contact provides constant reassurance, the position allows for gradual buildup, and that emotional connection helps you relax into sensations that might otherwise feel overwhelming.

For experienced anal enthusiasts, this position adds a layer of intimacy that can make familiar sensations feel completely new again.

How to Master Face-to-Face Anal (Without the Awkward Fumbling)

Ready to dive into this best position for anal penetration? Here’s your step-by-step guide to getting it absolutely right:

Setting the Stage

Get Comfortable: Start on a bed or other comfortable surface with plenty of room to move and adjust. You’ll want space to experiment with angles without feeling cramped.

Gather Your Essentials: High-quality anal lubricant (seriously, don’t skimp here), a firm pillow or sex wedge, and some towels for easy cleanup. Having everything within reach means you won’t break the mood fumbling around later.

Set the Mood: This isn’t a quick mechanical encounter. Take time to connect emotionally before diving into the physical. Kiss, touch, build that anticipation that makes everything more intense.

Getting Into Position Like a Pro

Hip Elevation is Key: Place that firm pillow or wedge under the receiving partner’s hips. This isn’t optional – it creates the angle that transforms awkward positioning into smooth, comfortable entry.

Leg Positioning: The receiving partner brings their knees toward their chest, opening up access while creating the perfect angle for penetration. Some people prefer legs pulled back, others like hooking ankles around their partner’s neck – experiment to find your sweet spot.

Partner Placement: The penetrating partner kneels between those raised legs, close enough for kissing and eye contact but with room to move comfortably.

The Art of Entry

Start with Teasing: Use fingers, tongue, or toys to warm up and build arousal. The beauty of this anal missionary technique is that you can maintain eye contact throughout this buildup, watching desire build in your partner’s face.

Lube Generously: Apply more than you think you need, then add some more. Anal tissue doesn’t self-lubricate, so generous application is your friend here.

Go Slow and Watch: Enter gradually while maintaining that eye contact. Your partner’s facial expressions will tell you everything – when to pause, when to go deeper, when they’re ready for more movement.

Communication is Sexy: “Tell me how that feels,” “You look incredible right now,” “I want to watch you lose control” – talking through the experience builds anticipation and keeps you connected.

Making Every Movement Count

Finding Your Perfect Rhythm

The magic of this anal intercourse positions variation lies in quality over quantity. You’re not racing to the finish line – you’re savoring every sensation:

Start Connected: Begin with just being joined together while looking into each other’s eyes. This stillness builds incredible tension before any movement starts.

Shallow Then Deep: Begin with gentle, teasing movements that focus on the most sensitive areas, then gradually work up to deeper penetration as arousal builds.

Read the Signals: Your partner’s breathing, facial expressions, and body language tell you everything you need to know about pressure, speed, and angle.

Angle Adjustments That Make All the Difference

Hip Tilt: That pillow isn’t just for comfort – it creates the perfect entry angle by tilting the pelvis. Experiment with pillow height to find what works best for your bodies.

Leg Variations: Try different leg positions throughout your session. What feels good at the beginning might not be perfect ten minutes later, and that’s completely normal.

Entry Direction: Aim slightly downward following the natural curve rather than straight in. This small adjustment can be the difference between discomfort and pure pleasure.

When Things Need Fine-Tuning

“The angle isn’t working”

Try adding a second pillow under the hips or switching to a proper sex wedge. The receiving partner can also experiment with pulling their knees closer to their chest or trying different leg positions. Small adjustments create big improvements.

“It feels too intense at first”

Spend more time with external play and use even more lubricant than you think necessary. This position allows for extended teasing while maintaining that intimate connection. Consider using fingers or small toys for gradual preparation.

“We keep losing eye contact”

Start each session with a few minutes of just looking at each other before any touching begins. If height differences make alignment difficult, adjust pillow placement to bring your faces closer together.

“One of us gets tired”

Use pillows strategically for support wherever needed. The receiving partner can rest their legs on their partner’s shoulders if holding them up becomes tiring. Comfort leads to better experiences for everyone.

Safety and Smart Choices

Hygiene That Actually Matters

Keep things clean and comfortable without turning it into a medical procedure. Fresh lubricant, avoiding cross-contamination, and having cleanup supplies handy keeps the focus on pleasure rather than logistics.

Communication That Works

Establish what you both want beforehand, use simple signals during (a nod for “more,” a hand gesture for “slower”), and remember that anyone can request a pause or change at any time. Good communication is incredibly sexy.

Physical Comfort

If there’s genuine pain (not just the initial intensity of anal penetration), stop and reassess. More lube, different positioning, or taking a break often solves most issues. Your comfort and pleasure matter most.

Medical experts at Cleveland Clinic emphasize that proper preparation and generous lubrication are essential for comfortable anal play, as the anal tissue is more delicate than vaginal tissue and requires extra care to prevent discomfort or injury.

Exploring More Intimate Anal Adventures

When you’re ready to expand beyond missionary while keeping that emotional connection, explore our full anal positions category for the complete collection. Here are three intimate anal variations that maintain that face-to-face or close-body connection you love:

Spooning for Full-Body Contact

A woman in a blue swimsuit and her partner enjoying anal sex.

Perfect for when you want that full-body contact without the face-to-face intensity. Your partner can whisper in your ear and kiss your neck while maintaining the gentle, controlled penetration that makes anal spooning so appealing for relaxed anal play.

Take Control with Cowgirl

A Black man and his woman having anal sex. She sits on top, facing him.

Take everything you love about missionary’s visual connection and flip the power dynamic. You’re in complete control, taking exactly what you want while your partner watches you own your pleasure with anal cowgirl positioning.

Standing for Spontaneous Intensity

A gay couple in the shower practicing the Body Guard Position. One man stands closely behind his partner, holding him securely in an intimate embrace.

For when you want spontaneous intensity with the option to turn around for kisses and eye contact. Standing anal positions creates unique sensations while maintaining that emotional connection.

The Best Sexy Positions Take

Here’s what I’ve learned from testing this position extensively: the anal missionary position isn’t just another way to have anal sex – it’s the missing piece that transforms physical pleasure into something deeper and more satisfying.

The first time you experience the combination of vulnerable anal penetration with soul-deep eye contact, you’ll understand why couples become completely addicted to this position. It’s not about being more adventurous or trying something new just for the sake of it. It’s about discovering that the most intense physical experiences become even better when combined with genuine emotional connection.

Whether you’re nervous about anal play or you’re experienced but looking for something more meaningful, this face to face anal position delivers everything you’re craving. The intimacy makes the physical sensations more intense, while the taboo nature of anal play adds edge to the emotional connection.

We’ve spent considerable time researching and testing different approaches to ensure you get advice that actually works in real bedrooms with real people. This position consistently delivers that perfect balance of emotional intimacy and physical intensity that transforms good sex into unforgettable experiences.

Ready to explore more ways to combine intimacy with anal pleasure? Check out our complete collection of 12 expert-approved anal sex positions for maximum pleasure to discover techniques that prioritize both comfort and satisfaction.

Ready to discover how emotional connection enhances physical pleasure? Try this position when you’re both ready to be completely present with each other.

Frequently Asked Questions About Anal Missionary

Is anal missionary actually comfortable for beginners?

Absolutely – this might be the most beginner-friendly anal position because you maintain complete control over depth and pace. The face-to-face contact provides emotional reassurance that helps you relax, which is crucial for comfortable anal play. Start slowly, use plenty of quality lubricant, and let the receiving partner guide the initial depth and speed.

How do you get the angle right for comfortable access?

The secret is proper hip elevation – use a firm pillow or sex wedge under the receiving partner’s hips to create the optimal angle. This tilts the pelvis in a way that makes entry much easier and more comfortable. The receiving partner should pull their knees toward their chest, and both partners might need to make small adjustments to find the perfect alignment.

What makes this different from other anal positions?

Unlike rear-entry positions where partners face away from each other, anal missionary maintains eye contact, allows for kissing, and creates immediate communication through facial expressions. This emotional intimacy enhances the physical sensations, making the experience feel more connected and meaningful rather than purely physical.

Can couples with different body types make this work?

Definitely. The position adapts well to different heights and body proportions using strategic pillow placement and leg positioning adjustments. The key is experimenting with pillow height and leg positions until you find what aligns your bodies perfectly for both comfort and pleasure.

How much lubricant should you actually use?

Use more than feels necessary, then add more during your session. Anal tissue doesn’t produce natural lubrication like vaginal tissue, so generous application is essential for comfort and pleasure. The face-to-face positioning makes reapplication easy without losing that intimate connection.

Is this good for people who feel nervous about anal play?

This is an excellent choice for anyone with anal anxiety because the emotional support is built right into the position. You can start with external stimulation while maintaining eye contact, build trust through facial expressions and communication, and the receiving partner maintains control throughout the entire experience. The intimacy actually helps you relax into the sensations.