
Table of Contents
Reading time: 6 minutes | Last Updated: June 10, 2025
Quick Facts
- What It Is: You straddle your partner’s face while they worship you with their tongue, giving you complete control over pressure, angle, and rhythm
- Also Known As: Face sitting, lesbian facesitting, face riding, queening position, throne position, oral dominance
- Difficulty: Easy to moderate (perfect for taking control without needing gymnastic skills)
- Best For: Women who want to own their pleasure, experience oral dominance, and drive their partner wild with desire
- Why It’s Amazing: Total control over your orgasm while creating intense psychological and physical connection
- Common Challenge: Building confidence to fully embrace the dominant role and communicate what you need
- Perfect Pairing: Slim bullet vibrator for hands-free clitoral stimulation, wand vibrator to press between your bodies for dual pleasure, or a couples’ vibrator that stays in place during oral
Why Sexual Power Feels This Incredible
If you’re a woman who loves women, queening is definitely worth exploring. It’s sexy, intimate, and surprisingly empowering in ways you might not expect.
Sound appealing? You’re in the right place. This position puts you literally in the driver’s seat of your own pleasure while creating an incredibly intense connection with your partner.
You might know queening by its other name – face sitting. It’s when you straddle your partner’s face while they go down on you, but calling it “queening” captures something important about the experience. You’re not just receiving oral sex; you’re claiming your throne and letting your partner worship you with their tongue.
This position is just one of many incredible options in our lesbian positions collection, but it stands out for the unique power dynamic it creates.
What Makes the Lesbian Queening Position So Damn Effective
Here’s the thing about queening—it flips the script completely. Instead of hoping your partner reads your body language correctly, you get to be the director of your own pleasure movie.
You’re in the Driver’s Seat Want their tongue to focus on your clit? Shift forward. Need more pressure? Lower yourself down. Craving that teasing, barely-there contact that makes you squirm? Hover just above their mouth and watch them reach for you. It’s like having a remote control for your own orgasm.
The Mind Game is Everything There’s something deliciously intoxicating about looking down and seeing your partner completely dedicated to making you come. Their hands gripping your thighs, their eyes locked on yours (when they can manage it), their whole body positioned for one purpose: your pleasure. Talk about a power trip in the best possible way.
Your Partner Gets Off on It Too Here’s what might surprise you—most partners absolutely love being in the giving position during lesbian face sitting. The intensity, the intimacy, the feeling of being completely consumed by your pleasure? It’s incredibly arousing for them too. Win-win doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Perfect for Taking What You Need You know that moment when you’re receiving oral and you want to say “a little to the left” or “more pressure there” but you’re too polite? Queening throws politeness out the window. You can grind, rock, and move however feels best without feeling like you’re being demanding. Because honestly, being demanding is half the fun.
If you’re enjoying the control aspect of queening, you might also love exploring lesbian scissors position, where both partners get to be in charge simultaneously.
How to Master the Lesbian Queening Position (Without Overthinking It)
Ready to take your rightful place? Here’s how to nail this position without any awkward fumbling around:
Setting the Scene Get your partner comfortable on their back with a pillow supporting their head. Trust me on this—neck strain kills the mood faster than anything else, and you want their full attention on making you feel amazing.
Getting Into Your Groove Straddle their face with your knees on either side of their head. You can face toward their feet or the headboard—experiment to see which angle hits your sweet spots better. Some people swear by facing forward, others love the reverse angle. There’s no wrong choice here, just personal preference.
For support, grab onto:
- The headboard (classic and stable)
- The wall behind you
- Your partner’s chest or shoulders
- Or if you’re feeling confident, go hands-free and squat
Finding Your Perfect Rhythm Start gentle and build up. The beauty of queening is that you get to choreograph this dance. Rock back and forth to control what gets attention. Make slow circles with your hips to let their tongue explore. Press down when you want more intensity, lift up when you need a breather.
Talk to Each Other (Seriously) Don’t go silent just because you’re in charge. A breathless “right there” or “don’t stop” will drive them wild. Guide their head with your hands if you need to. And here’s a pro tip: positive reinforcement works wonders. A simple “that feels incredible” can turn good oral into unforgettable oral.
Research consistently shows that couples who communicate openly about their sexual needs experience higher satisfaction and better sexual function across all areas—and queening is no exception to this rule.
The Safety Talk (But Make It Sexy) Set up a signal system before you start—maybe they tap your thigh twice if they need air. Keep most of your weight on your knees, not their face. Check in with eye contact or a quick “you good?” especially when you’re really getting into it. Safety doesn’t have to kill the vibe; it actually makes everything hotter because you can both relax into the experience.
Switch It Up: Lesbian Queening Variations That Hit Different
Forward-Facing Queening
Face toward their feet while you straddle their mouth. This angle is perfect if you want to reach back and play with their body while they’re busy with yours. Plus, they get a fantastic view that’ll keep them motivated.
Reverse Queening
The classic setup—facing the headboard. This usually gives you the best clitoral contact and something solid to grab onto when things get intense. Perfect for when you want to lock eyes and watch their reaction to your pleasure.
Making It Work for Every Body
- The Comfort Queen: Kneel instead of squatting if your legs need a break. You can still control everything without the workout.
- Chair Champion: Use a sturdy chair or the edge of the bed for different heights and angles. Sometimes a little furniture rearranging opens up whole new possibilities.
- Pillow Princess Plus: Stack pillows under your knees or adjust their head support until you find that perfect sweet spot where everything aligns just right.
The best part about these variations? You can switch between them during the same session. Start with one, see how it feels, then transition to another. Think of it as a pleasure playlist where you get to be the DJ.
For couples who want to explore mutual oral pleasure, the lesbian 69 offers a perfect complement to queening by letting both partners give and receive simultaneously.
Making It Even Better: Tips from the Pleasure Playbook
Getting the Setup Right Keep some good lube handy—even if you don’t think you’ll need it, you might change your mind when things heat up. Have water nearby for your partner (staying hydrated is sexy). A towel underneath never hurt anyone, and comfortable room temperature means you can focus on the fun stuff instead of shivering.
For the Queening Newbies Start with shorter sessions—maybe 10-15 minutes—to build up your confidence and their stamina. There’s no rush here. Light pressure at first, then gradually increase as you both get comfortable. Think of it as a delicious warm-up to the main event.
When Things Don’t Go Exactly as Planned Legs getting tired? Switch to kneeling or take a break with some kissing. No shame in working up to marathon sessions.
Partner seeming breathless? Lift up and check in. Better to pause and make sure everyone’s good than to worry about it.
Not quite hitting the right spots? Experiment with angles. Lean forward, lean back, try different hip movements. Sometimes the perfect position is just one small adjustment away.
Feeling wobbly? Use that wall or headboard! There’s no prize for going hands-free if it means you can’t relax into the pleasure.
The Health and Safety Real Talk Keep things clean and be aware of any cuts or sensitive spots. Never go from back-door play to oral without washing up first. If either of you starts feeling dizzy or uncomfortable, take a break and listen to your bodies.
While oral sex is generally considered lower risk than penetrative sex, medical professionals emphasize the importance of oral health in preventing transmission of infections, especially when cuts or sores are present in the mouth.
“But What If…” – Addressing Your Queening Concerns
“I’m scared I’ll hurt them or they won’t be able to breathe” This worry is totally normal and shows you care about your partner. Here’s the thing—you’re not actually sitting your full weight on their face. Most of your weight stays on your knees or feet. Start light, communicate often, and trust that they’ll let you know if they need a breather. Most people can handle way more than you’d expect, but it’s smart to be cautious.
“I feel too exposed and vulnerable in this position” Fair enough—queening puts you on full display, literally and figuratively. If you’re feeling shy, try dimming the lights at first or starting with some playful teasing before settling into position. Remember, your partner is down there because they find you irresistible and want to pleasure you. That’s not vulnerability; that’s power.
“I can’t seem to reach orgasm when I’m on top” Sometimes the pressure or angle just isn’t hitting right. Try leaning forward or backward to change things up. Don’t be shy about using your hands for extra clit stimulation—your partner’s tongue plus your fingers can be an incredible combination. And remember, grinding motions often work better than just sitting still.
“My thighs burn after like five minutes” Welcome to the queening workout! Your leg strength will improve with practice, but in the meantime, switch to the kneeling version or take breaks. You can always pause for some kissing and touching, then get back to business when your legs are ready.
I’ve found that starting slow and building up tolerance works way better than trying to power through discomfort. There’s no medal for suffering through shaky legs when you could be focusing on pleasure instead.
Why This Position Creates Such Intense Connection
The lesbian face sitting position does something magical—it forces both partners to be completely present with each other. There’s no room for distractions, no mental grocery lists, just pure focus on pleasure and connection.
For you, being in control can be incredibly empowering. You get to own your pleasure without apology, without politeness, without holding back. For your partner, the complete devotion to your satisfaction can be deeply fulfilling. It’s intimate in a way that’s hard to replicate in other positions.
The trust required makes everything more intense. You have to trust them to communicate their needs, and they have to trust you to listen. When that trust clicks into place, the sexual connection becomes electric.
Plus, let’s be honest—there’s something hot about watching your partner’s face as you move above them, seeing their eyes flutter closed in concentration, feeling their hands grip your thighs. It’s visual, it’s primal, and it’s delicious.
More Lesbian Positions to Add to Your Repertoire
Ready to explore beyond queening? Check out these other crowd-pleasers from our lesbian positions collection:
For when you want that delicious grinding action with full body contact
- Seated Queening position
Perfect for when you want the control of queening with extra comfort and support
Combines mutual oral pleasure with intimate breast play for doubled sensation
The Best Sexy Positions Take
The lesbian queening position is like discovering you’ve had a superpower all along—the ability to orchestrate exactly the kind of pleasure you crave while creating incredible intimacy with your partner.
This face sitting technique isn’t just about the physical sensations (though they’re pretty spectacular). It’s about stepping into your sexual confidence, communicating what you want, and experiencing the rush of being completely in charge of your own pleasure.
At Best Sexy Positions, we’re all about positions that actually work for real people having real sex. The lesbian queening position has earned its spot in our collection because it consistently delivers that perfect combination of physical satisfaction and emotional connection that makes sex truly memorable.
Ready to claim your throne? Start with good communication, prioritize everyone’s comfort and safety, and prepare to discover just how incredible it feels to be worshipped exactly the way you deserve. Your partner is going to love watching you take control—and you might just surprise yourself with how naturally dominance comes to you.
Your Burning Queening Questions Answered
Is lesbian queening actually safe, or should I be worried? When done with awareness and communication, it’s totally safe. The key is keeping most of your weight on your knees rather than their face, establishing clear signals beforehand, and checking in regularly. Think of it like any other physical activity—start gentle, build up gradually, and listen to your bodies.
How is queening different from just regular oral sex? Totally different experience! In traditional oral positions, you’re hoping your partner hits the right spots with the right pressure. With queening, you control the pressure, angle, and rhythm by moving your hips. Plus, the psychological dynamic is completely flipped—you’re in charge instead of just receiving.
I’m worried about how I look from that angle—any advice? I get it, queening puts you on full display. But here’s the thing—your partner is down there because they think you’re sexy and want to pleasure you. That vulnerable feeling often transforms into confidence once you realize how much power you actually have in this position. Start with dimmer lighting if it helps you ease into it.
What if I can’t reach orgasm while I’m on top? Experiment with different movements and angles. Some people need to lean forward for better clit contact, others prefer leaning back. Don’t hesitate to use your hands for extra stimulation—combining their tongue with your fingers can be very effective. And remember, grinding motions usually work better than just staying still.
How do I bring up trying queening with my partner? Keep it simple and exciting: “I’ve been reading about this position that sounds really hot—want to try something where I get to be in control?” Focus on the pleasure and adventure aspect rather than any concerns. Most partners are thrilled when you express specific desires, and the enthusiasm is usually contagious. Plus, who doesn’t love a partner who knows what they want?